Kites and Violence: my head in the wood-chipper

On Tuesday 30th April, I will contemplate my own mortality as I face that most savage of foes: screenwriters.

This month’s Kites and Violence features a reading from “A Modern Age of Murder”, known on this blog as Steampunk Assasins.

I am very nervous about this, not least because I’ve seen what wounds this lunacy of wolves has inflicted on other people with their acid tongues and their copies of Story.

I’m also anxious because this is my baby, my first script – the one I’ve been toiling over for almost four years. And it’s about to be eviscerated.

But that’s how we learn and grow, what doesn’t kill you, etc. If you want to join in with this pillory of writerly humiliation, come to the Horse Bar at 7pm on Tuesday!

Things I’ve Been Doing Instead of Updating My Blog

You know that thing where writers leave you hanging for months because they’re off having “thinking time” or pioneering the depths of the ocean? You know how much we all hate that? Yeah, I’m that writer. Except without the exciting excuses.

I seriously doubt anyone’s been waiting on tenderhooks for me to update this blog, but if you have been even the least bit tender or hooked, I apologise.

In the meantime, I’ve been working on a number of things – some of which I’m allowed to share and some which are currently under wraps, alas.

Remember that exciting series of short films set underwater? While we work on the feature scripts, the team decided that we would move sideways into graphic novels. We’re currently working on the first issue and it’s coming along nicely.

The Realm Pictures crew are also currently working on a number of projects which fall under the category of Not Talking About It Yet. Suffice to say, the boys went to LA, met Kevin Smith and Jon Huertas, and a good time was had by all.

I’ve also been working on a short film script called “A work of art” with Cameron King and Emma Ashley, which is due to start filming this month.

If there wasn’t enough on my supersize place, I entered #carinapitch with my Cyber Crime Sleuth novel and Carina editor Deborah Nemeth decided she was intrigued enough to read. Off the back of her interest, I decided that my freshly-spruced MS was ready to see the world and queried a select number of agents – dipping a terrified toe in the water.

So, that’s what I’ve been up to instead of writing here. Hopefully, I won’t be so quiet in future, but if you’re missing a fix, you can catch blog-lite on Twitter!

On Talking: Novels vs Screenplays vs Plays

I love dialogue. Great dialogue can make your heart sing, from the Crispin’s Day speech in Henry V to President Bartlet’s rant against God in Two Cathedrals. And I’ve always fancied I’m not half-bad at it.

There are fundamental differences between novels, plays and screenplays that I’m not going to delve into here, but the thing that grabbed me tonight is dialogue.

I’ve started attending Kites and Violence in Waterloo, a writers group run by the funny and devastatingly handsome Sandy Nicholson. This evening’s readings were from a feature film and a play. Both were very enjoyable, actually (though I had to duck out early because of trains) but wow, they sound so different!

I’ve turned my hand to novels and the thing I hate about them is all the damn describing you have to do. There is a basic expectation of description that is actively avoided in screenplays. I personally feel this can go too far – JRR Tolkien may have been a genius but no one needs eleven pages to describe a mountain range.

Screenplays are light of description and high on talking, relative to novels. But then you have plays.

Stage plays are all-talking, all the time. There is a glut of talking! Non-stop freakin’ talking. And you know what? It’s too much for me.

I recently completed a horror play and my main struggle was with the length. The story I wanted to tell was a thirty-minute story. It didn’t want to be a full-length play, but part of that is because the dialogue/description ratio in the work is much closer to a screenplay than a stage play.

So, basically, this post is a very long-winded way of saying: I like dialogue but the dialogue/description ratio that suits my style best is found in screenplays.

(And I could’ve said that in one Tweet and saved you all reading this…)

10 Things About Les Miserables

[Here There Be Spoilers - You Have Been Warned]

1) New songs? New lyrics?! It wasn’t long enough for Hollywood?

2) Just give Anne Hathaway the Oscar now. GUH.

3) Speaking of which, I loved the close-up solos – particularly “On My Own” – and, surprisingly, the direct-to-camera stuff really worked.

4) I was pleasantly surprised by Javert. Russell Crowe really brought out the pathos in the character, and that is now my favourite version of “Stars”.

5) And Marius wasn’t a total loser! I actually gave a damn about the boy.

6) Disappointed with Valjean – did he need extra songs? Really?

7) And, to add insult to injury, at the expense of “Drink with me” – Grantaire’s solo is one of my favourite moments! The students overall needed more time.

8) But Eponine was perfect – everything I hoped and more. “Little Fall of Rain” was heartbreaking

9) I only teared up during that song. The cinema was filled with audible sobbing by the end.

10) And what an end. There was applause. The last film I went to with applause was probably “Return of the King”.

2012 in review

This time last year, I looked back at 2011 and made some resolutions:

“So, in 2012, I will:
- Final FINAL draft Steampunk Assassins and send it to producers
- Edit my Cyber Crime Sleuth (NaNoWriMo) novel and send to publishers
- Finish my Asylum pilot, enter it in Red Planet Prize, and send it to producers
- Make a short film
- Get an agent
- See Realm Pictures take Raindance 2012 by storm
- Get married XD”

Let’s see how I got on:

In January, I was given the opportunity to write for Persona and started developing my story.

In February, I started developing a short film (which unfortunately came to nothing) and learned that I can take notes.

In April, I adapted a screenplay into a stage play with Jack Ayers for the Brighton Fringe Festival, and I signed my first professional contract (for a project that went nowhere).

In May, Persona aired, Small Chances was performed in Brighton, and I heard that Bryn Celli Ddu was being made by It’s My Shout.

In July, I made the 50 Kisses longlist.

In August, I moved to London and changed day job.

In September, I got married!

In October, I saw my work on the big screen at the It’s My Shout Premiere, and in November, “Dragon Chasers” aired on the BBC.

In December, The Underwater Realm premiered in London and is available on YouTube for all to see.

If you had told me last year that this would be my 2012, I would’ve politely laughed in your face.

You’ll notice that there were milestones for me that never came to fruition. I also sent out Steampunk Assassins, entered Asylum into the Red Planet Prize, and submitted my Cyber Crime Sleuth novel to a competition: nothing came of that. I also answered Shooting People ads and e-mailed contacts – I got valuable feedback, but no bites.

But I put myself out there. If I hadn’t dared, then I would be in exactly the same position as I was last year.

So I’m not going to set specific goals for 2013. My 2012 goal list has a number of ticks, but I also achieved things I hadn’t even considered trying for.

Therefore my goal is to seize my opportunities and WRITE.

“DRAGON CHASERS” / “BRYN CELLI DDU” – From Script to Screen

It started with a holiday.

In December 2010, my then-fiancé and I went on holiday to Anglesey. I was living in Wrexham at the time and, having gawped at and photographed most of Edward I’s castles, I was eager to show my partner the same.

As a side trip, we decided to visit one of Wales’ older monuments – Bryn Celli Ddu. From a distance, it doesn’t look like much – a “grass igloo” in a field. But when you arrive at the place, it is resonant with its own ancient magic, the idea that this place was once special to many different people.

When I got home, the magic percolated for a while before I wrote this note in March 2011:

Three teenage boys raise an army of undead Celtic warriors to battle the Neanderthal bullies at school. But when the warriors wreak havoc on their nerdy surban lives, it’ll take a White Witch to bring them down.

This is actually for a film version of the story, and there are a few other notes about general plot – and characters:

> Ben “Galahad” Jones – the proactive adventurer – “the Knight”. Into weapons metal, social and virtual.
> Trevor “Mordecai” Thomas – the history nerd – “the Mage”. Into ancient history and practical magic.
> Shoaib “Shozzer” Abdul – “The Paladin”. Into the noble defence of virtue – and hiding in the broom cupboard.

I liked the idea, but it jostled for position among a whole hoard of plots. I occasionally went back to it, wrote a few more lines, and then left it brewing in a folder for a few months.

When I heard about the It’s My Shout scheme – a brilliant project encouraging those with Welsh connections, particularly young people, to get to grips with the filmmaking process – I knew that this story was perfect. With some editing:

Three nerdy teenagers travel to Anglesey to raise a Celtic warrior from the grave.

Now we’ve slimmed down to one warrior – much more budget-friendly – and, interestingly, Trevor and Shoaib swap personalities. The synopsis also gathers Gwen, “an outcast Goth”, who replaces the older White Witch character.

I submit my application to IMS – with this script – and wait. And wait. And get rejected in the first round.

I’m disappointed, because I’m quite pleased with the script, but rejection is the cost of putting yourself out there.

And then get a phone call on my birthday saying that there’s been a mistake and I’m not only unrejected, but my script is one of the six being made for IMS! The squeeing could be heard for miles around.

What followed was Development. My script editor Gruffudd Owen gave great notes via phone and e-mail and, as a result, we cut back some of the setup to allow more time for character development. We also amputated some of the more expensive features – i.e. the car crashes. I was also excited to learn that Gruff would be writing a Welsh version of the script for a parallel production!

At the end of that process, we delivered this production script into the talented hands of Leanne René, our director.

Unfortunately, day job commitments kept me away from set, so it wasn’t until the grand première event at the Wales Millennium Centre that I got to meet some of the cast and crew behind “Dragon Chasers” (as the English version is now dubbed). I also got to see my baby on the big screen for the first time!

I must say that the cast were fantastic and, while I didn’t chat with Alex Reid, it was great to get to know some of the actors and hear about their experiences on set – and share some of the backstory to the script with them.

It was such an eye-opening experience to follow my little idea through to production, and I’m proud that it’s now on freakin’ BBC iPlayer for y’all to peruse.

Writing is 90% Thinking

Getting back on the writing horse after a long hiatus is every bit as difficult as one would expect. It would probably be easier without the tonsillitis and the feeling that my brain is talking a walk on a muggy day in June, but only marginally.

I have a one-pager to write before the weekend. I thought it would be relatively simple, as I thought I had a comprehensive set of notes from which to work – but it turns out I thought wrong.

It seems that I wrote some notes, and then I wrote a second set of notes, in which I made several leaps of logic, merged two characters and invented a few bits of backstory. Without writing down the intermediate stages of that thought process.

But this afternoon, I just about picked up the thrust of my argument and set to work.

It was about half an hour later that I zoned back into the room and realised that my cursor was still blinking in front of me with an empty bullet point to fill: I hadn’t written a damn thing.

Except that I’d repopulated my world with colour and sound. I remembered my character voices. I had filled in those logical gaps that had been achingly out of my reach. And I was ready to give the finale the attention it deserved.

If I had forced myself to put “words on paper” as the maxim goes – and I had considered drawing floor plans and raiding my board games for character representatives – I would’ve had words but, at the end of the day, they would’ve been useless to me.

By giving myself time to think – and then watching a genre-appropriate film – I put myself in the right frame of mind to put down words that actually resonated with the world view of my characters. Quality over quantity.

Which is all a long-winded way of telling my producer that I haven’t actually written the one-pager yet but, when I have, you know it’ll be worth the wait.

Upheaval, or Why I Haven’t Been Around Much

You know the old adage “write what you know”? I think I could pitch my life right now as a rom com: “A neurotic over-achiever tries to move house while starting a new job and planning her wedding. Can she juggle three stressful life events while writing a feature film and keeping up with Twitter?”

No. She can’t.

Which is a long-winded way of saying that I have been neglecting my e-mail, Twitter, Facebook, etc. and I haven’t been doing much in the way of writing either.

However, I now live in London! So, while I am sad to leave Wales, I can now do all those exciting London-based things, like go to a meeting at the BFI! Or join a writer’s group!

But maybe in October. When I’ve finished with the aforementioned stressful life events.

Please drop me an e-mail/text/Tweet/DM/Facebook message with what you’ve been up to, so I can be a cheerleader while waiting in the wings.

50 Kisses: Quaking and Breaking Hearts in 2 Minutes

So, I made the 50 Kisses longlist along with 507 talented folks! Thought I’d take a few words to talk about my script…

Firstly, two-page scripts are a bugger to write. With Virgin Media Shorts and the generation with too many distractions to watch five minutes of anything on the internet, the two-minute short is gaining in popularity. At any given time, I have two or three of the things in a drawer, waiting to answer a script call.

The problem with them is that you still have to fit a whole story into two minutes. Writing for Persona, with its 90-second appisodes, honed my skills with brevity but it’s so tempting to write a vignette or a scene from a much larger story. Or, with Persona, to take an appisode off where they just go for coffee and talk about books (I wish my life had more appisodes where that happened…).

Secondly, every script you write – every damn one – has to mean something to you. And no, it can’t just mean “yay pay cheque”.

Obviously, we all take jobs to pay bills/gain experience/get credits until we become famous and rich enough to turn into Joss Whedon. But even those jobs have to awaken something in you that you can emotionally engage with. Because if you the writer can’t find it? What hope does anyone else have?

My 50 Kisses script was inspired by a story my friend told me. When I heard it, I cried. I couldn’t help the tears in my eyes, the raw feelings for a man I’d never met. And I knew I needed to tap into the things about that story that made me hurt to write something that could emotionally connect to others.

F. Scott Fitzgerald writes in a letter to a newbie about using the things that tear at your heart in your writing.

He says:

…the amateur can only realize his ability to transfer his emotions to another person by some such desperate and radical expedient as tearing your first tragic love story out of your heart and putting it on pages for people to see.

And you need to do that in two minutes.

The Dying Art of the Storyteller

I went on a shopping trip with my nieces and nephew the other day. All under ten, they asked the adults in the car to tell them a story. A made-up story.

My partner volunteered me. So, I decided to cheat.

I started telling them the plot to one of my feature scripts.

However, I came unstuck at the first line: “Jack is the son of a blacksmith.” And the inevitable question comes: “What’s a blacksmith?”

I realised this may be a problem in a film primarily about swords. However, I soldiered on and ended up diverting into a tale of adventuring, bandits and the relative merits of the longbow over the dagger as a weapon when you’re a child in the woods. Not sure I meant the moral of the story to involve imitable violence, but that’s what happens when you do these things on the fly.

Anyway, for my next story, I went with Bryn Celli Ddu. Adapting a story about teenagers into one about young children is pretty hard. But my nephew is the best story reviewer I’ve ever had. “Why did they do that? Why did he run away? What’s a kebab?”

And it made me realise that the ending wasn’t satisfying. When you can’t make it obvious that the end is the end, you’ve gone wrong somewhere.

So, I propose that the next time you have the opportunity to tell stories to your children, nieces, nephews, Scout group, you pick one of your own. It may well be the best feedback you ever get.